What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?
What’s your take on the annual New Year’s resolution thing? Do you make one? If so, does it stay with you?
You know, after years of vowing to make this change or that one, I finally gave up. I’ve made the diet resolution, the fitness resolution, the one about being kinder… you name it. But each time I’ve tried to make a new year’s resolution, I’ve failed. Why??? As I sat on my plane ride back from Denmark last Monday (New Year’s Day), I pondered this. I’m disciplined. I’m generally not someone you’d call a quitter. But the annual New Year’s resolution never works for me. And then I realised why:
I am always exhausted. Always.
At the end of my busy work week, do I rest? I do not. I’ve used the words “self care” for years and *thought* I was practicing it – by getting massages, by going to lunch with friends, etc. but most of the time, at the end of each weekend, instead of refreshed, I almost always felt exhausted!
On that plane ride, it finally clicked: even when I thought I was taking care of myself, I was *still* doing things for others. Watching a friend’s little one. Running an errand for another friend. Making care packages and taking them to the homeless. Buying groceries for my adult kids. The list goes on and on.
Take today, for example. It’s my Sunday and yet I had agreed to plans for lunch with a friend (in town for work from Seattle), a meet up (friends I haven’t seen since November), and dinner with a wonderful younger woman I’m personally mentoring. Oh and also, can I mention the mountain of travel laundry I needed to do? Because, of course, I got home late Monday night – just enough time to sleep before rushing out the door to be at work by 7:30am and no time for laundry.
This morning, as I laid in bed, I asked myself, “what about this is self care??” and I cancelled all of it (except the laundry because, you know… pee yew). And by “I cancelled all of it,” I mean I sat around praying no one would call to finalize anything (no one called!).
I felt a twinge of guilt but mostly I felt relieved. As I write, I’m lounging on my sofa. The laundry is done. I’ve ordered delivery for dinner and, afterward, I’m taking a long, long bubble bath.
So, for 2018, I’ve decided I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution after all: I’m going to practice saying “no” without guilt and I’m going to actually rest when I’m off the clock instead of constantly filling up my free time doing for others. How about you?
Happy New Year!