What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?

What’s your take on the annual New Year’s resolution thing? Do you make one? If so, does it stay with you?

You know, after years of vowing to make this change or that one, I finally gave up. I’ve made the diet resolution, the fitness resolution, the one about being kinder… you name it. But each time I’ve tried to make a new year’s resolution, I’ve failed. Why??? As I sat on my plane ride back from Denmark last Monday (New Year’s Day), I pondered this. I’m disciplined. I’m generally not someone you’d call a quitter. But the annual New Year’s resolution never works for me. And then I realised why:

I am always exhausted. Always.

At the end of my busy work week, do I rest? I do not. I’ve used the words “self care” for years and *thought* I was practicing it – by getting massages, by going to lunch with friends, etc. but most of the time, at the end of each weekend, instead of refreshed, I almost always felt exhausted!

On that plane ride, it finally clicked: even when I thought I was taking care of myself, I was *still* doing things for others. Watching a friend’s little one. Running an errand for another friend. Making care packages and taking them to the homeless. Buying groceries for my adult kids. The list goes on and on.

Take today, for example. It’s my Sunday and yet I had agreed to plans for lunch with a friend (in town for work from Seattle), a meet up (friends I haven’t seen since November), and dinner with a wonderful younger woman I’m personally mentoring. Oh and also, can I mention the mountain of travel laundry I needed to do? Because, of course, I got home late Monday night – just enough time to sleep before rushing out the door to be at work by 7:30am and no time for laundry.

This morning, as I laid in bed, I asked myself, “what about this is self care??” and I cancelled all of it (except the laundry because, you know… pee yew). And by “I cancelled all of it,” I mean I sat around praying no one would call to finalize anything (no one called!).

I felt a twinge of guilt but mostly I felt relieved. As I write, I’m lounging on my sofa. The laundry is done. I’ve ordered delivery for dinner and, afterward, I’m taking a long, long bubble bath.

So, for 2018, I’ve decided I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution after all: I’m going to practice saying “no” without guilt and I’m going to actually rest when I’m off the clock instead of constantly filling up my free time doing for others. How about you?

Happy New Year!

  1. shadlyn

    January 19, 2018 at 4:29 am

    I do the same thing and I am definitely trying help myself to willing to say no without feeling guilty or thinking twice as well. Also, need work on just doing it and stop making excuses when it comes to bettering myself.

  2. Amy-Lynn

    January 19, 2018 at 1:33 pm

    OMFG i LOVE those socks! i need them

    now, onto your actual content lol. its good to hear that you’re looking to improve your selfcare this year. too many people let it slide too often and end up in terrible messes as a result. you can’t care for anything else unless you care for yourself first, right? I’m also still working on this. My resolution is to find a better balance between life, health care, and work. I’ve put work first too much and missed out on a lot of life due to poor health. time to get back into action!!


  3. Alicia Taylor

    January 19, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    I didn’t learn to say no until I started developing severe panic attacks that and became a diagnosed agoraphobic. It’s a habit that I think we all should develop. I’m not saying be selfish – but not say yes quite as often.

  4. erica ardali

    January 20, 2018 at 12:00 am

    My Goals for 2018 are to increase my traffic to 200K Monthly – (BIG Thing for Me)
    Earn $1000 Montly – consistently
    Grow Instagram to 25K
    Travel Out of the Country
    Lose 150 lbs without surgery

  5. Ayana Nell

    January 20, 2018 at 3:06 am

    Sometimes it’s important to cancel your plans if your mental health is at stake! Sounds like you really needed a break, so I’m glad you got one!

  6. Amber Stanfield

    January 20, 2018 at 4:18 am

    Saying “no” if often so hard to do, but it is sometimes vital. My pastor even preached about the importance of “letting your “no” be “no.” No feeling guilty, and no changing your mind! Self-care is so important, and I’ve noticed that the more I push, the more exhausted I feel, and the less productive I am overall. Taking time to yourself is the most therapeutic and kindest thing you can do for yourself!
    Amber S. | http://www.thesuburbansocialite.com

  7. Evelyn

    January 20, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    What a brilliant resolution! For some of us, learning to say “no” is wisdom that is gained only after much experience. I celebrate you in your alignment with your calling and truth. Take care of you!! <3. Evelyn | PathofPresence

  8. Stephanie Jeannot

    January 20, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    There is nothing wrong about taking time to breathe and to be able to digest this life we live. Itโ€™s actually very important for your brain to do so. Sometimes it is okay to just lay back and enjoy time to yourself to be able to go on stronger into the next moment.

  9. Elizabeth O

    January 20, 2018 at 11:39 pm

    Sounds like a great new years goal, I really hope you stick to it. My goal is to love myself more ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Amy

    January 22, 2018 at 5:56 am

    I donโ€™t do resolutions per say, but i do love annual phrases that keep me focused in a certain area of growth.

  11. Maria

    January 23, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    I kind of down play them…. Like, I tell myself “let’s see if we do this thing next year” but I never truly commit… This year I’m taking it more seriously though… I’m keeping them in check to make sure I achieve my goals ๐Ÿ˜€

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